Have you ever felt like you didn’t matter? Like if you weren’t somewhere, no one would notice? I’ve felt like that a lot lately. Not at home. At home I matter. If I wasn’t at home I’m pretty sure my wife and son would miss me. In fact, my wife told me she missed me yesterday because I’ve been working so much lately we’ve hardly seen each other. I’m talking about work mostly. It seems when others have a great week they get congratulated like crazy and some pretty crazy bonuses too...trips to Vegas and that kind of thing...yet when I have a great week it takes a co-worker to point out that it was my best week ever and only then did I get “a round of applause”. That’s it. And only because it was pointed out to my bosses. They didn’t even know for themselves.
Then there’s the other job. Lines I’ve been speaking have been completely ignored and others have completely spoken over top of me and taken the focus. Ad libs I came up with that rocked the crowds and became a part of my nightly routine have been taken and spoken by others so now they get the laughs and once again I’m just “the other guy”.
And then this week my step-daughter graduated from college. And I wasn’t invited. It was noticed that I wasn’t there....by my ex-wife...who just couldn’t wait to mention to me how proud SHE was of her. I realize that kids are only allowed a few tickets to these kinds of things...and I am only the step-father, but at least a call to say “I would like you to be there but...” would have been nice. After all, she is the one who says I’m not allowed to call her my step-daughter and that I am her only Dad and she is MY DAUGHTER...
Maybe I should just quit my jobs and stay home. At least there I matter.
Do I sound like I’m whining? I suppose I am. But I’m not sorry. I’m pissed off and I needed to get it off my chest. Thank you for listening.
Reddit AMA with Phil X
3 weeks ago